Overcoming Agoraphobia: A Prison of my Own Design

I live in a prison of my own design. At least, that’s what my therapist says. She’s right, though. My apartment is my prison. It’s small, only three rooms – but still an upgrade from the 400 sq ft studio we previously rented. My previous prison. You see, my prison moves with me. No matter how far away I move, my prison follows. The color of the walls may change, the shape of the room and the view changes, but I’m still a prisoner.

Does this sound familiar? Maybe you are in a similar situation. Maybe, like me, you wonder how it came to be this way. It didn’t happen suddenly, at least for me. It kind of snuck up on me. No matter how it happened, or whether it happened fast or not, we are in this together.

I don’t want to be a prisoner any longer.

Although I’m still learning, I’ve learned quite a bit thus far. Slowly, I’m tearing down the walls separating me from the world. With therapy I’ve started taking occasional short walks, alone. Going outside in the yard for a few minutes at a time. Even getting the mail. A year ago these things would have seemed impossible. Hard-fought changes are coming, gradually.

So Here is What I’ve Learned:

• Be patient with yourself. Overcoming agoraphobia doesn’t happen overnight.
• Push yourself out of your comfort zone. Staying in your comfort zone (likely) contributed to the situation, and will only keep you trapped.
• Don’t let fear answer for you. If someone asks if you want to do something, answer from your goals, not your fear. Waiting for when you are no longer afraid could mean never accomplishing your goals.
• Know your limits. Don’t push yourself too hard, too fast. Yes you should push yourself, but not beyond your limits. Know what you are ready for.
• Don’t be afraid to say “no” if you aren’t ready. If you are saying “no” because it’s beyond your limits, there is nothing wrong with that. Just don’t say no out of fear alone.

It Will Be Worth It:

Overcoming agoraphobia isn’t easy. It takes time, and discipline, and effort. However, it will be worth it. We are in this together. I’m not someone who gives a bunch of advice about something I know nothing about, somewhere I’ve never been. I’m there too. We can do this.

We’ve been trapped, living in a prison of our own design … but we don’t have to stay there.

Are you suffering from agoraphobia? What are you doing to overcome it?