The nursery is ready and the house is checked, but can you ever really stop preparing for motherhood, especially when it’s your first time?
There’s so many nuanced factors to take into consideration.
Maternity leave or working straight through?
Stay-at-home parent or going back to work?
In the beginning the questions are still difficult … what to name the baby, where to labor, how to financially prepare.
The questions could go on and on.
It’s even more difficult to prepare if you have a mental illness. Even more difficult if you are struggling financially, or if you don’t have support. So many factors can make preparing for motherhood even harder than it already is.
How I’m Preparing for Motherhood:
If you haven’t heard, we are on the countdown (late March or early April) for our first child, a baby boy. And with that bundle of joy on the way, is (quite possibly) an even larger bundle of stress, hanging over our heads.
Not that we aren’t thrilled – we planned and tried for this baby for over a year.
[Curious about this decision? See Why We Decided We Wanted Children (Despite Mental Illness)]
With that being said, however, there is a lot to prepare. Beyond the nursery and All Behind A Smile, that is.
There’s insurance and doctors to call, appointments to schedule, doctors (for the one suffering with mental illness) to check in with.. and that’s on top of the typical prenatal appointments.
So .. Preparing.
One of the major things I’ve been doing preparing for motherhood is to take all medications as prescribed, under a doctor’s supervision. While this may sound simple, taking care of your mental health can have a huge impact on your pregnancy. (Along these lines, continue regular psychiatric care!! I cannot emphasize this enough.)
Also, having conversations – even hard ones – has been instrumental. Conversations about responsibilities especially, but also conversations about mental health (and how I’m doing) are extremely important because they let support people know when/if to intervene, and how to help.
Last but not least, gather/find support. Support is different for everyone, and depends also on your financial situation, but it is a necessity for preparing for motherhood. You cannot take care of someone else unless you can take care of yourself first.
Consider family, friends, or even a postpartum doula (if financially able). Communicate your needs beforehand – don’t wait to tell them until after the baby is born and you are overwhelmed!!
Ways for Support People to Help:
There are so many things that need to be done regardless of major life changes, and these are some instances where support people can really shine:
- Cleaning the house/washing dishes
- Prepping/bringing meals
- Childcare (especially if you already have children)
- Running errands
- Getting groceries
I’ve learned so much from my classes (to help prepare for labor and after), but there’s always room to grow and more to learn. How are you/did you prepare for motherhood as someone with a mental illness? In what ways were your support people most helpful? Let me know in the comments below!
Christian, wife, “hybrid” mama, I run the site All Behind A Smile to help others like me.
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