Some of the best ideas come from communication with others. In this case? My therapist (kindly) pointed out that I was trying to “do it all” and that if I don’t do it all, I’ll be less stressed and overwhelmed and be a better mom for it. WHAM. *Wake Up Call, Anyone?*
Quite obviously, the first problem is HOW. How do you NOT do it all, when everything feels important? Everyone wants to tell you to prioritize, but no one seems to have a clear method on how to prioritize… (probably because everyone is different).
My Prioritizing Method
The method I use to prioritize these days is simple. Very simple. It’s two steps.
- Prayer. I pray for clarity/help defining what’s important.
- Does it get skipped/missed/overlooked frequently? Time to axe it, delegate it, or reduce the time allotted to it.
If you hate a task, by all means, try to delegate it, but I’m not suggesting that this is how you get out of doing THOSE particular chores (looking at you, laundry that needs to be put away)… I’m suggesting this is how you choose between tasks you otherwise can’t decide which ones you really want in your life.
The Sleeper “Trick”
Have a lot of things you want to prioritize but just don’t have the space (or time) in your life? Try the sleeper “trick” to help. This is great for ferments, too (I’m looking at you, Trim Healthy Mamas).
- Sourdough starter and milk kefir grains can be refrigerated (hibernated) when you need a break
- Stop sprouting grains and purchase on plan bread in busy seasons (or sprout and dehydrate your grains but wait to grind them, or even grind a very large amount of flour when you know a busy season is coming to prepare for it)
- You can use disposable diapers and put cloth diapering on the back burner for a few days (or weeks or months) – if finances are your reasoning for cloth diapering, people sometimes give away free disposable diapers in buy nothing groups or on FB marketplace
- You can let your garden “sleep in” and start it later in the year (giving pollinators a shelter to rest in and yourself a chance to focus on other things)
- Regulated screen time won’t hurt your kids, and in fact it might even help them with things like colors, numbers, and counting (see: How Screen Time Helped My Toddler)
Don’t Do It All
Please don’t stress yourself out thinking you have to be everything to everyone – you don’t. Don’t do it all. If you tell yourself that this person is doing this so you have to, too. You don’t. Trying to earn love is like trying to earn your way into Heaven, or purchase a gift that was already given to you (salvation, if you accept).
Our “works” are out of love. They are not earning any points, not buying passage to Heaven. They are the fruits of a Christian. I’m a better mom when I prioritize not just the obvious, but things that are important to me, too – like kefir and homemade meals (things I do for other people but also something I feel convicted about as a Christian) – because when I feel like I’m making a difference even in some small way, my entire life is impacted.
Don’t do it all. Take the time to assess, prioritize, and use the sleeper “trick” as needed… then let me know in the comments below: how do you prioritize what is important out of what you WANT to do? Do you use a sleeper “trick” too?
Christian, wife, “hybrid” mama, I run the site All Behind A Smile to help others like me.
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