If you read last week’s post, Why We Decided We Wanted Children, you know that having children is a major decision that only gets bigger when there is mental illness in the picture. That’s why I decided to put together a list of questions to ask (yourself and your partner) before deciding whether or not to have children.
Keep in mind that this is not an exhaustive list; it is only meant to get you started. Every journey is different, and no one can decide for you what you should do with your life.
This list will only focus on the mental illness aspects of pregnancy and starting a family.
Questions to Consider:
For Pregnancy:
- If stable on medication, will I be able to continue my medications while pregnant, or will I have to switch/go off my medications?
- Do I have a supportive psychiatrist and OB-GYN?
- What is the risk to the fetus if I continue my medication while pregnant?
- What is the risk to me if I don’t?
- Do the risks of continuing medication while pregnant outweigh the benefits of stopping medication?
After Pregnancy:
- Will I be able to care for my children, even when my mental illness is at its worst?
- If not, who will care for my children when I am unable?
- Is there a risk of my children inheriting my illness?
- If so, how will I help them with their symptoms?
- Would it be better if I consider other routes of starting a family (adoption, fostering, etc.)?
- Am I stable enough to start a family?
- How long have I been stable?
- Do I have a supportive family?
- Do I have supportive friends?
- Do I have a stable home environment?
- Do I have a stable work environment?
- Do I have strong coping skills?
As previously stated, these are not exhaustive lists, but hopefully they help get you thinking about your individual journey and whether or not pregnancy and/or starting a family are on the table for you.
Also keep in mind that the “after pregnancy” list is not just for moms or moms to-be … dads or dads to-be can (and probably should) ask themselves the same questions!
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional of any kind, nor have I ever been one. This is not to be construed as medical advice. If you have questions or concerns, please address them with your doctor. Your doctor can help you decide the best path for you on your unique journey.
Christian, wife, “hybrid” mama, I run the site All Behind A Smile to help others like me.
[…] if you have a mental illness and so have been torn about the idea of having children, these Questions to Ask Before Having Children can help you by giving you questions to ask yourself, and get your brain started in the right […]